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21 Marines
Oct 26th, 2009 by johnchaley

This came to me  from a Marine’s wife.   It says it all:

  I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government under went a peaceful transition of power a few months ago.

  At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of Office.

  However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President.

  It was then that I realized how far America’s Military had deteriorated.
   
  Every last one of them missed…

Two Bags
May 4th, 2009 by johnchaley

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large  plastic garbage bags behind her.  One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing  this, a  policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.  Oh really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find  them. Thanks for telling me officer.” Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.  Where did you get all that money?  You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next  to the football stadium parking lot..  On game days, a lot of fans come and pee  through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden.  It used to  really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not  make the best of it?  So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by
the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy!  Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well, you know”, said the little old lady, “not everybody pays.” 

Creation
Apr 24th, 2009 by johnchaley

A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

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